Becoming Balanced in Harmony…

It has been a long time since I have been on. I have been debating whether to stop posting or not. Alot has been happening around here. Some real great things, some not so great. Right now, I have to vent.

It just so happens that my boys biological father reared his ugly buy the love/bribery/hypocrisy self yet once again after not speaking with or seeing my children by his choice since his mother died in 2006. I have sole custody of my children due to his continuing mental and physical abuse. The courts say he is not allowed any type of visitation rights to them. I though have given him every opportunity – actually more than enough chances to have a relationship with them. It was the choices he, the ‘father’ has selfishly made to not act on it at all with the exception out of guilt every once and a great while to send them something to try and bribe them for his love.  Though, as biological father, he holds a financial responsibility to them. Guess what he stopped doing a long time ago – he is classified now as a ‘deadbeat dad’ and the money he owes classifies him as a felon under the law President Clinton put into law in the 90’s… unfortunately, I know his pattern. I was with him when he did this to his other children. See, he has 6 kids, and none of them he ever provided for like a responsible adult should. Mine included. Never called them, never financially provided for them..oh but I sure heard how it was completely 100% the woman’s (that is not his vile word) fault. I sure heard, the ‘poor me, I’m the victim’, It’s not my fault speeches all the time. Never once did he take responsibility for his actions and yet the pattern continues after all these years. It’s very disheartening yet not at all surprising that he continues to exhibit the same selfish behavior, not taking responsibility for his actions.

My boys got the letter from him stating the ‘I hope one day you give me the chance to explain many things’ – which my boys already are smart enough and old enough to know they are just excuses – and we all know how that is going to play out….he will put the blame yet again on another person(me) other that his true self. He will never learn, never change. He lied to me in 2006 and told me he found God. Just so I would allow him to see the boys yet after probably a 2 year no contact situation.  He makes his statements and his ‘status’ of marking his territory like an animal as to tell them that he is their father is fading fast. My boys see right through it. They remember all of the promises he made to them. All of them broken and false. All of them. They know who really loves them and is there for them. I never had to say a thing.

I am so proud of my boys… see, everything this guy sends… they see it, and know about it, I have never hid anything from them. Then it is they that decides what happens to it. Right away, they have decided they want nothing to do with it. They have decided to donate the stuff he sent them to to Domestic Violence Shelter we ended up in by his hand. We have an appointment as a family at 9:30am Friday morning to meet at the shelter and donate all of it. They are great kids with great hearts.

My message to him is to do the right thing for once in your life. Step up and be ‘the man’ that you said you were as you always shoved your hand in my face as I was being beaten up by you or strangled. Financially provide for the children you helped put on this earth. That doesn’t just mean what you owe monthly, you now owe arrearage, and incidentals, including medical, dental/orthodontia and eyes. You would have known all of this if you would have signed for my many certified letters. Oh but you do know all of this – It is in the divorce decree.

In my women’s Bible study class – When Godly People Do UnGodly Things:

God holds us accountable, we cant allow the enemy to intimidate us into avoiding relationships. We just want to make sure we develop healthy, God-appointed, and balanced ones. We get started by becoming the kind of person we want to find. That is exactly what I have done along with my children. We are stronger and healthy, and we pray even for the one who has abused us the most. We pray, our prayers get answered. We thank too our friends and families on both sides for loving my children and me – and for your continuing prayers. WE know….in God’s time – not ours.

Friday we too will be picking up these shirts made by the Domestic Violence shelter clients called the Clothesline Project. A fundraiser for DV survivors – like me.